My computer got over its virus now why cant I

Sorry fans but my computer was down for a few days. Its good now though from what i can see. I am sick though , AGAIN!!!! I dont get it , I really dont. Just when you think you are fine then bam, all over again. I am sick of being sick all the time. It is possible. I have been up for an hour but I am pooped. But I go to beed and cant sleep from my coughing, fever , etc........ Washed my bedding last night. I love clean sheet night. Edmonton was awesome. Thanks Hales!!!!! I went to the West Ed Water park for the first time. That was so much fun. Not to much else is new. Have Monday off for U.S. holiday . YEAH! Sorry but I have to go back to bed so I am good for The Gate later. I wouldnt go but I have to open the Watergate. Album of the week is Nelly Furtado- Loose its not out till middle of June but it should be good. Anything by her is good. And Taylor Hicks won American Idol. Yippeeee!


"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak." - Jack Handy

People should give me quarters for my thoughts I think

I hate mothers day. Never really had a good mother or a good consistant female role model in my life. Long story ! I have had many replacements like aunts, friends parents, teachers, managers, and members of congritgations. It really does take a village to raise a child. But none were the one I wanted so badly. Dont get me wrong I appreciated every bodies help but phone bill gets high on that day from all the outgoing calls when really only one is needed. I try so hard to hate her but I am really not that mean and I wish I was. I do miss her, how she used to be before stuff got bad. Was watching of course Little House on The Prarie the other day ( best part of getting off at 3:30 now ). It was an episode that just sparked a lot of those feeling and I just balled and was sad for the rest of the night. Dad gave me shit for not calling mom on mothers day . As far as I am concerned she can return my mothers day call from 2005 before she gets one for 2006. And thats the end of that. Talked to my friend Janine last night. She is a very good friend of mine since grade 2 on. She is getting married on June 10th . When she first told me that I told her that I was probably going to be in Thialand. At that time that was the plan but we all know how thats going. So I get to go to the wedding . Yeah!!!!! I am so excited. Last night as we were talking she got quiet. Then I knew it was comeing. She said " Can I tell you something that you can keep a secret?" . Me " Of course!". Then she said it " I was going to ask you to be a bridesmaid before you mentioned Thialand." There was a long pause . Janine was like Shantelle are you there. Composed my self and said yeah i'm here. She asked me why I was choked up and crying. I told it was good tears. I was so honoured beyound belief. Of course it is too late all the preperations are done and thats fine. It was nice to know I was first pick. Her other bridesmaids are girls we went to school with that I hated and they hated me as well. The first thing I wanted to do was call them all up and say ha ha. But I would never, that would be rude to them as well as Janine. I told Janine I had a feeling I was in the running but knew I wrecked it with the whole Thialand thing. But I would have never asked her cause that is rude again and I would have taken it to my grave. Janine knew thats what I was thinking and feeling. Wierd how if you know someone for ( holy shit ) 20 YEARS how you can tell what they would think or how they would react to certain things. Never the less we are just both happy that I am going to be there either way. Funny that she lives in Edmonton and I am going to Edmonton this weekend and she is coming to Lethbridge for her bridal shower. Just my luck. I took her bridal gift to her parents and had coffee with them so its all good. I just never thought I meant that much to anyone to be their bridesmaid. It made me really happy.

"If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party." - Jack Handy

Sneeky, sneeky !!!

1. Pick a number between 2-9 (Don't tell me)

2. Multiply it by nine

3. If that comes to a 2 digit number, add the 2 digits together

4. Subtract 5

5. Take that number and find the corresponding letter in the alphabet to it (a-1, b-2, c-3 )

6. Find a country that starts with that letter

7. Take the second letter in the countries name.....

8. ... and find an animal that starts with that letter

9. Mmmmmmmmm... The hampster wheel is a going ....mmmmmm, Check comment #1 below

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

Regaurding my post about money.. that was wierd. I wrote that like two days before the big " blowout". We know what I am talking about . I honestly had no idea. That post actually applied to a lot of otheer people I know too. Well i hope it all works out for the best to everyone involved. Cant really pick a side cause i love everyone but if you know or have talked to be you know how I feel! " Wink, Wink " . Wathed the fireworks tonight with Hales. That was awesome and cold. The Kremers are back from Thialand. YEAH !!! They are in Calgary right now then going to B.C. for 2 months to see Dans side of the family . Then they will find a place in Lethbridge. I am so happy they are back safetly. I missed them so much. Especially Dan. I screamed when he came at me from behind and scared me. I was so happy I could of cried. It was a good day. Matt and Becky are next back in a few months. Sorry Hales but I am happy you never got that job. I would have missed you now we can do lots of fun things this summer . Talked to Sarah on MSN today. I really miss her to. Going to Edmonton soon for my nieces Baptism. I am really excited for that. I think that is it for now. Sorry about taking so long to post . I havent really been busy just tired and lazy and headaches , I wont lie . Will try to do better. Album of the week is Gorilaz- Demon Days . Deffinatly check it out. I may also start to do Jack Handy qoutes every so often to. They are hillarious. Used to be a skit on Saturday Night Live in the early 90's but found a website that has them all.

"Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind." - Jack Handy

Its Not Over Till The Fat Lady Sings !!!!!

.... well this heifer didn't sing a note. I have been at The Gate for 4 just about 5 years . Even since the first time I stepped in there all I have wanted to do is be on that stage and sing and praise God. I love to sing and I think I am good at it . It is one of the things that calms me cause if you really know me I can be high strung or always mad, nerves,or stressed about something . I finally got the nerve to ask my pastor to let me sing. Scott was like sure ,no prob, learn the songs , blah blah blah . I thought yes i'm in. Nerves are a big factor. Like hudge you have no idea. I can not even do group things at The Trench . I hate when attention is on me like eye contact while they ask me a question or for my opion. A lot of the time I say I dont know or sure to go along with what they are doing even though I do know or think what they are doing is wrong just to avoid confrontation. When they look at me I get really hot and sweaty. I will start to breath heavy even have a azma attack or get light headed. I have even grabed my stuff and ran out crying, ask Jo. So to say I want to sing is quite the hurdle. Its not cause I am shy, cause if you know me I am the least shyest person you will ever know. Then I get an email from Scott saying oh yeah I want you to audition for me one on one in my office. Well thats worse than being on stage with lots of people around. But I understand and respect why he wants an audition. Well I thought I was ready and we were in his office and he started to play on his guitar and said start anytime. In a weak shaky voice I say " Can I back out actually?!" He was surprised and I was too. I thought I was really ready. I said I am really sorry with tears in my eyes and grabed my stuff as quick as I could and ran out of the office and building. Scott knows I was nerves cause we had that talk so I warned him, he thought that might of happened. I wrote him an email apoligizing, saying I was totally embarassed, also that I appreciate the oppurtunity and time he took and thats why I felt bad for wasting his time. He wrote saying no worries he understands . I can be on the music team still and I will keep on working on it and who knows in the future . I know and have had confirmation that singing is what God wants me to do and I love it more than words can describe. I do not doubt my ability at all to sing I just have a nerve/ anxiety issue that is really holding me back. I still do not know a lot of people at The Gate so I still feel awkward round them and shy , and since I do not know them I can not trust them . I can not trust that they are going to be nice and supportive of me if I do sing with the group which is another reason why I am nerves . I will work on it but no matter how much I work at it Scott will always make me sing for him in his office/ interigation room. If there is no audition I know I would be fine. ARGH, is what I feel about the whole thing I have to have faith. I just need to walk in there one day and say Scott lets do it now without no one knowing that way if I screwup no one is let down. There was some people that knew I was trying out cause I was excited and had to tell someone. There is also somewhere else that maybe it is that I am to sing there instead. They are called Live-Ins. It is a retreat through the Catholic church that I have been a part of for years. It is like the retreats I directed for my youth group but for adults. A litte better atmosphere there. Who knows, I sure as hell dont. Hows that for an update Laura. Hehe . Thanks for listeninhg guys. Luv Yall !