Happiness

happiness

n 1: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy [syn: felicity] [ant: unhappiness] 2: emotions experienced when in a state of well-being [ant: sadness]

Dictionary.com

I think that is where I am right now. I was driving in my car home from The Trench and I felt different but did not know what it was . Then after a few minutes of trying to put my fingure on it , light bulb, I'm happy . Some things have been coming together in the last week that have just put a smile on my face . Dont get me wrong to . It is really hard to deal with to . I know it sounds wierd but just hear me out. I don't know what to do with happiness. It doesnt happen to me very often . S o I am anxious and running around like a chicken with my head cut off, so to speak. I don't know what to do with my self . Plus I never thought that I deserve to be happy to but deep , deep , deep , deep , deep, deep down I know that is not true. Save it Jo . I hope it lasts but always knows it won't. See what I mean, I am upset to cause it wasn't self caused happiness that I started. I have this thing with control. I had no control on this it just happened then I realized it . This is where me and God but heads. He is in control and I can't give that up . I have to be independent with my happiness. I have to do it on my own. I can't always depend on things like friends, family, objects, money, alcohol, cigarettes, food, knives, pills. I got to do it my self. No help that way it means more and I can be free. Thats all I want . This is whats been going on. Most of it has not happened to me but ones I care about . Nothing makes me happier than to see things come together in there lives .

Theres nothing better than seeing a plan come together! Robert Binetruy ( r.i.p.)

1. Jo got a job at Quest . Yeah !! Its only cause I gave her a wicked reference that she doesnt know about . Just jokes. You did it on your own . You had the job before then even called me .
2.I am in California
3. Sihams gone
4. I think I am just now truely over my cold
5. Amber ( landlord ) went to to Hawaii for 2 weeks . She gets wicked migranes due to southern alberta everchanging climate . Glad she could get out of town to take care of herself. She was getting really sick . She may have to move out of alberta .
6. Snow is melting
7. Ashely moved back from Red Deer . She is going through a divorce. Husband cheated. I am happy she is out of that situation and getting her life back plus I missed her
8. Another certain someone is back. Cant say his name cause it might jinkx it . I missed him so much. We might be doing a bible study again that I really miss doing with the gang
9. He is working at Convergys to so I can see him more
10. Asked for my number today and said he would call me
11. No Jo it is not you know who but him and her did break up for good this time . He deserves it . BURN! Cant say names . You never know hows reading .
12. Got a raise and get another one in a month
13. Am going to Vegas and I am so excited
14.Finally told Scotty B. I want to sing . He is working on it for me
15. Found out my destiny in the church and in Christ , I am a prophetess
16. Jo stayed in town
17. Sharon got a new job
18. A certain friendship seems to be getting better
19. A friend is getting what they deserve . That is all I can say .
20. Got a picture today from Hayley that made me smile
21. My arm is healing again
22. Am making a solid effort on my weight
23. I think I will get a big tax return
24. Amanda got a new car , finaly
25. A different Ashley found out what she wants to do with school and is going to Vancouver for it . Good for her .
26. Cousins that are getting married in Vegas are coming to town this weekend and my cousin Faye 's family, Brother Chads family, and other brother Devin are all going bowling Sat. after noon.
27. Yeah for tanning
28. My boss is hot

Well thats a start. Some may seem small and stupid but its the little things that count right. Good night !